


Irrepressible

by boleyn13



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Evil Loki, Falling In Love, Hatred, M/M, One Night Stands, Substitution, Tony is trying to deal with the fact that he is falling for a bad person, Unrequited Love, and maybe losing his mind, fighting one's feelings, love isn't always the answer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-08
Updated: 2017-02-08
Packaged: 2018-09-22 19:27:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9622232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boleyn13/pseuds/boleyn13
Summary: Natasha thought that he was in love with Steve. A ridiculous thought, but it would be better this way. Steve wasn't insane, Steve wasn't a murderer. However it wasn't Steve Tony was constantly thinking about. In the end nobody can choose who they fall for, but Tony can decide how he is going to deal with it





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everybody,
> 
> Just a short piece of work, that deals with the idea that love doesn't always bring out the best in people. It can be incredibly destructive and highly dangerous, because it isn't rational. 
> 
> Tony is falling for someone that he doesn't want to fall for and somewhat driving him insane
> 
> Enjoy :)

Natasha thought that he was in love with Steve.

An idea so ridiculous that Tony wanted somebody to write a SNL sketch about it. Tony had laughed and in front of Natasha he had shrugged it off, but the truth was her assumption bothered him. Especially the way she had confronted him with it. Steve and him had been arguing about how to do things. The usual.

Steve had made a stern face, Tony had cracked a joke, Steve had accused him of never taking things seriously, Tony had started yelling and told Steve to finally get the stick out which he so obviously had up his ass. Naturally Steve had used that statement as a pretext to claim that having a discussion with Tony was impossible. A definite victory.

When Steve had been gone Natasha had started giving Tony that kind of look. “What?”

“Constantly disagreeing with him and provoking because you are in love with him is pretty childish.”

In that moment Tony had realised that Natasha was probably the worst spy ever. Or she simply had the worst opinion of him. Really? Tony being in love with the chief of boy scouts? No, thanks. How could she believe that Tony was into a guy who was no fun and had such an uptight attitude? Tony didn’t think it’d be possible to fuck Steve. Stick up his ass and all…

It took Tony a couple of days to figure out why Natasha was assuming that he would fall for the good old stars and stripes. That was the only reason Natasha could come up with why Tony wouldn’t agree with Steve on fucking everything. Obviously he had to be unhappily in love with him and since Tony was unable to deal with that he had decided to make Steve’s life a living hell.

Of course

That was so much more likely than Tony having a different opinion and thinking that Steve was only right half of the time he opened his mouth. No, thank you very much.

Unfortunately her comment also made Tony realise something else. Falling for Steve would be an incredibly stupid thing to do, but it could still be considered… sane.

Tony longed for a single moment in which he could be sure that he was still in possession of his sanity. It seemed to be slipping for a long time now. Actually it was a miracle that nobody had noticed yet. Well, Natasha thought that he was in love with Steve, so Tony couldn’t expect her to notice anything.

Not even when he had let their biggest enemy get away just last week.

Thinking about it Tony felt a little bit unsure on his two feet, like it would be better to sit down. He really had to be crazy. Five days ago Doom and Loki had decided to make Manhattan their playground. Nobody had an idea what they had been fighting about and at that moment nobody had cared. When two immensely powerful magic users were throwing balls of fire and shock waves at each other, the city was in trouble. So the Avengers had ended up taking out Doombots and beating up trolls that had come through several portals that Loki had opened.

They had a very clear policy when it came to fights between super villains – make sure civilians stay out of it and hope that the two badies end up killing it each other. While the rest of the Avengers had been doing just that Tony had followed a unique energy trail that led him into an abandoned warehouse… where Loki and Doom had been beating the shit out of each other. It had definitely been the kind of situation that Tony as a normal human being wanted to stay out of. He had only turned up to witness the end of that fight anyway. Doom ramming some metallic blade into Loki’s side and the Asgardian brutally shoved Doom into another, newly created portal.

With Doom gone silence had suddenly spread across the room Tony had been able to perfectly hear Loki’s every move. The god had been panting hard and only then Tony had realised that he was supposed to attack him. He had never witnessed Loki in this kind of state. Hurt, bleeding… vulnerable. With his back to Tony. Perfect, there had never been a better situation to ambush him. Putting all the suits energy in one blast, enough to knock him out.

Tony hadn’t moved a muscle. Instead he had started at Loki sitting down, putting a hand on his bleeding side, grimacing while doing so. Green sparks of magic, a little groan and one minute later Loki had vanished.

That had been the first moment that Tony had felt something different when it came down to Loki and it scared the shit out of him. Tony was no stranger to sudden and hot burning desire. He knew everything about an almost overwhelming attraction to a person that seemed to consume you, but instantly faded away as soon as you had slept with that person. Tony would be perfectly happy if that was what he was going through right now. A physical attraction to a horrible person was something he could deal with. Something superficial.

The next time somebody got close to Loki Tony wasn’t around. He heard about it two hours later. Loki had broken Clint’s arm and killed two agents. They weren’t the first ones, Tony was perfectly aware of that. Loki was a murderer with blood all over his hands. Tony found himself thinking of that moment in the warehouse, feeling overwhelming regret. Regret for not taking him out when he could have. Regret for not making sure that Loki had been alright.

A few days later Thor had some Asgardian buddies over. Tony thought that they were obnoxious. All that talk about adventures and bravery. Bullshit. Looking at these people Tony wasn’t surprised that Loki had lost his mind. One second later Tony felt awful for even having this thought. They were annoying, but good people. Loki was insane, showed no respect for any form of life and he was a murderer. Tony was disgusted by his own tries to make up excuses for that.

Some sad backstory… imagining Thor lying about whatever had caused Loki to end up like this…

Tony buried himself in work, not leaving his lab, creating new gadgets and suits 24/7 just to keep his mind busy. Not thinking about how fucked up he had to be to think about Loki’s green eyes before falling asleep. Some days he imagined Loki locked away in a cell where he definitely belonged. Then he thought about him just standing there, in front of him and couldn’t help feeling drawn to his grace and charisma. Yes, he was definitely losing his mind.

And Natasha seriously thought that he was in love with Steve…

 ***

It took two months until Tony had his breakdown. At least he considered it his breakdown. A Saturday night and he went out with a very clear intent in mind. Jarvis offered him a list of places that were frequented by a lot of English guys.

He was Tony Stark whenever he entered a bar, everything was for the taking. Everyone. It took about one minute before the first woman approached him. Another minute and Tony got rid of her.

Black hair and green eyes. It couldn’t be that difficult. After his third drink Tony actually stumbled over the guy he was looking for and thanks to the alcohol Tony wasn’t putting on a show that would make lose a lot of time.

“Hello there, aren’t you gorgeous?”

The young guy completely turned around to look at Tony and he could see how he was already rolling his eyes. “Really? That’s what you… Oh.”

Amazing, wasn’t it? When your name was Tony Stark you could say whatever you wanted. Everybody else would have been sent on their way, but now the guy was blushing and instantly forgot whatever friend he had been talking to. “Uhm, thanks. Hi.”

Damn, his eyes were so clear and green like a fucking meadow. This could actually work. “Can I buy you a drink?”

“Yeah, sure. Of course.”

His name was Michael and physically he was perfect. Beautiful eyes and his hair was so black it had to be dyed. Lean, a posh accent and immediately putty in Tony’s hands. Which wasn’t working out for him. Michael was nice, he laughed at Tony’s jokes, shyly lowered his eyes and bit his lip and that wasn’t what Tony wanted.

Tony went home alone, locking himself up in his laboratory to watch old footage of a fight that his suit had recorded. Well, a conversation that had happened before the fight. Thor once again trying to reach Loki by telling him that they were brothers and how much he loved him. Tony watched Loki’s stoic but beautiful face and paused the footage. He knew what was about to happen in a second. Loki would snarl and start throwing fire and pure energy at them.

Was there something else in his eyes? Not just anger and the lust for murder? Anything that might help Tony believe that what he was feeling wasn’t madness? No. What did this say about Tony? This was going to stop now. Once and for all.

Two days later Loki stole some ancient books from a museum and Tony might have shown up too late on purpose. Natasha gave him a dark look, but what did she know…

It was a different bar this time and Tony spotted him the second he walked through the door. The eyes weren’t as perfectly green as Loki’s or Michael’s, but the rest was just wonderful. When Tony approached him, the guy was openly looking him up and down and then cockily smirked at him. “I don’t know… I’m not really into old men.”

Oliver was perfect.

No match for Tony’s snark, but he did a pretty good job. Maybe he was a little young, probably about 20 years old, but the black hair, green eyes and the English accent made up for it perfectly. When Tony kissed him Oliver immediately kissed him back, grabbing Tony’s ass without hesitation. Yes, finally.

Back at the tower Tony continued to kiss him feverishly, impatiently pulling his clothes off, driven by a passion that he could only act out this way. Oliver had no trouble keeping up with him, seemingly amused by Tony’s eagerness. “Geez, am I turning you on much?”

No, not really. Tony was pushing him down on the bed and froze for a second, just looking at him. He was unable to stop wondering how Loki would act like in this kind of situation. Someone so dominant, so arrogant and desperate to put his superiority on display needed a way to unwind. What would Loki look like if he was stripped off his armour and his rage for just a moment?

Like Oliver? With black strands of hair covering his eyes, slightly parted lips, gazing up at Tony with unmasked desire on his face. Their faces melted together and Tony leaned down, crushing their mouths together. This wasn’t Loki and it shouldn’t be Loki. Could never be Loki.

“Tell me you want me.” Tony mumbled against Oliver’s mouth and it got even better when Oliver didn’t say anything, but aggressively deepened the kiss. Pushing him back down Tony nipped on Oliver’s lower lip. “Nothing is going to happen as long as you don’t tell me.”

Green eyes glared at him and Tony felt his desire getting even stronger. Of course Oliver must think he was crazy and an asshole and he was definitely right. None of it mattered though.

“I want you…” He sounded like hated himself for saying that and Tony shuddered. This was what he wanted and at the same time it was anything but. He couldn’t decide what he wanted, because he didn’t know what Loki would be like. Did that even matter?

Brushing the hair out off Oliver’s eyes Tony studied his face. They mingled together once more and Loki was beneath him, staring up at Tony, waiting for him to do something and like this Tony could tell him. “You’re so beautiful.”

Tony shouldn’t think that. He was supposed to despise him and part of him did. The other part though continued to kiss Oliver, grabbed his thighs and pushed them apart. Oliver softly moaned his name when Tony entered him, making him instantly feel completely helpless. It was always ‘Stark’, not ‘Tony’. Closing his eyes Tony nuzzled his face against the crook of Oliver’s neck. He breathed in his scent and surrendered himself to his phantasy. It was Loki who begged him, it was Loki who wrapped his arms and legs around him, Loki’s fingers were running through his hair. Like this Tony could pretend that Loki would want him, that Loki was actually capable of feeling something else but disdain for him.

That Loki was something else than a monster who found his pleasure in killing people.

Oliver fisted his fingers in Tony’s hair, forcing his head back up and pulling him out of his thoughts. When his lips touched Tony’s they were almost gentle and Tony was lost.

Afterwards he was watching Oliver’s sleeping form, curled up into a little ball right next to him. It had been good sex, fantastic even and it hadn’t helped one bit. So much about getting it out of his system. Now his stupid, little phantasies had taken on a life of their own. He could see himself approaching Loki in this warehouse, helping him take care of his wounds and then Loki would look at him with his clear, green eyes to maybe see him in a different light.

The way Tony saw him. Dangerous, despicable and yet… beautiful.

Oliver gasped in surprise when Tony grabbed him, rolled him onto his back and smashed their mouths together. He became perfectly pliant beneath Tony’s hands, willingly parted his legs again and moaned Tony’s name. There was no complaint when Tony kept mumbling a word with only two syllables instead of three.

 ***

Loki attacked a Shield base, burned it to the ground and he was contently watching his work when the Avengers arrived. During the fight Loki met his eyes for a mere second and Tony felt all his power draining from his body.

A burning building full of dead people couldn’t shake him anymore, he realised that he didn’t care. But one look from Loki that made clear that he would gladly burn him with everyone else was too much for him to handle.

It should be so easy to hate him, but when the fight was done and Loki had disappeared Tony couldn’t stop thinking about the painful moan Loki had uttered when Steve’s shield hat hit him with full force. As it turned out it was so much easier to hate Steve instead.


End file.
